My mind won't ever clear until I see your name. It's not being hopeless it's having nothing to hope for. It's not giving up it's just never trying. Cross all the t's and dot all the i's. I won't ever spell optimistic. That four-letter word crept up on me again. Hope was my first memory to fade. Hope is God's way of laughing at us. You left me here in the rain. Tonight I would have died for you. God won't laugh anymore. This time I'll shut the blinds. I'll turn off the light. Waiting has made my dreams die. I'll hold on to this last one. My only chance is in blindness. Four years. One night. One touch. I won't allow this weakness. My heart has stopped yet my blood flows. Cold. God won't laugh anymore.